16.04.06
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- having been fired from my job, i find that i am extremely emotional. crying when kristi is getting ready for work. partially because i don't want to be alone. but primarily because i just want to go to work so bad. we saw two clients at the movies last night and even that upset me some. they weren't clients i even had any relationship with. just names on hot issues for me. but still, there they were and i now have to pretend that, when and if i see them in the community, that they are just another group of people i do not know.
that's what breaks my heart the most. that i'm not allowed anywhere near the facilities or the clients. no calls, no visits. and the clients were the only thing about that job i cared about. the clients. working with them, talking to them, seeing them improve and get better. i miss them. even though i've been gone just over a week, i feel like it's been forever.
to murray: fuck you for assuming i did not care about the clients. if you knew anything about me or the work ethic that i had, you would know that the clients are all i thought about. if you want to weed out all the shitty staff that don't care about the clients, you can start with almost all your "management team." including yourself. you are so concerned with running your facility that all you do is hide up in your goddamn office and busy yourself with trivial shit like blocking myspace from the computers. well, do what you do but i imagine that someday you're going to realise what a soulless bitch you are, and then you'll have real problems.
to rudy: fuck you. just, fuck you. i don't even know what to say to you. but if i ever had to see you, i'd punch you in your shit talking, lying mouth. you "be mad" at me all you want. try and make this all about yourself. but just remember that it was me that was done wrong, me that was done dirty - and then look and figurer out where you place in it. because i know you had something to do with it. regardless of what you say, i don't believe a fucking word of it. you're a liar and a backstabber and i know eventually you will get what's coming to you.
to diana: lately i have developed this hunch that you had something to do with it. and you know, i wouldn't be surprised. spite and retaliation for me taking my dog? ridiculous. you're a sad, pathetic person. i can't believe i ever.. was with you. what a waste of nine months. if i ever see you out, be prepared for a punch to your fucking mouth.
well. i feel better now. i had lots of shit to talk and it feels good to have gotten it off my chest. but. it doesn't make me feel any better for being where i'm at - and that place is, not at work. i miss them.
happy easter and such.
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