It's not that I have anything extraordinary to say. Nothing out of the ordinary amazing has happened that I've absolutely got to throw down into this box. I don't have a burning urgency to write. But I do have the desire. The desire to say something, anything, is good enough to push my thumbs against these little Sidekick keys. If there's one thing I learn from drinking askheychris up like it's honey, it's that the desire and the craving is the best and only reason a person needs for fuck-all-anything.

I've come and I've looked at these boxes so many times in the last fifty-something days and thought to myself that I need to say something to fill the space. Something so I don't forget how to document my life - even the small day to day things. So that in a month, a year, I know what was going on in this time in my life. It's important for me to remember. I'm pleading with my 0% charge phone battery to just pull through so I can finish whatever this is that I'm spilling.

Life is rolling by me at just a fast pace. It seems like every direction I look, I'm missing something going on behind me. It's been eight months already. Eight that I've been with Kristi. It feels like we've always been together because when I remember, all I see is her - but I know we've still got so much mor etime together because eight months is only a fraction of our lives. [my battery has since died, and this I scribble on paper.]

This is my canvas. This white paper, these four walls of the box. Creating is what I love. Her skin is my canvas. Smooth, pale, soft. I write love songs across her back, down her arms and over her cheeks with my fingertips Her moans and sighs - her fragile breath - she is my muse for everything that I do. Every beautiful word I can utter and every I love you drawn from my chest. She creates me, destroys me, completes me and owns me. She is everything I needed and all I couldn't live without.

She is the breath from my lungs, the blood in my veins The sinew in my hands and the muscles in my legs. The spine in my back - the heart in my chest and the shield of ribs surrounding it. I'll lay my life down. You will never take her from me.
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