That is precisely what I am doing with this Girl. Falling so, so in love. I swear, I never thought it'd come around again. I never thought I'd feel these things that she makes me feel. After Chrishna, I thought that I was ruined - that my responses to emotional situations were completley erased. But I just needed the right someone to come along and breathe into me and wake me up, and that is exactly what she is doing.

Kristi, is her name, by the way. After I lost Chrishna, I was ready to hang it up. I didn't want anyone to need me, I didn't want to care so deeply for anyone again, I didn't ever want to feel butterflies, and I never never wanted to kiss someone new with my eyes closed so tight. But then I started to know Kristi. And I want so much for her to need me yet I feel so unworthy that she does so much. And she runs so deep into my bones - into the center of my being - she's wrapped around my heart and tangled in my veins. When she cries, I kiss her eyes and wipe her tears into my palms. We sleep tangled around each other and she sinks back into me so I can hold her as tight as possible - our bodies fit together like puzzle pieces. If I could transfer my soul into hers with my lips I would. I am building my world around her.

She is my constant positive. She holds me together and makes me realise that things really will be alright. As long as I've got her, I'm holding the entire universe between my arms.

Not even Tegan and Sara could creep fully into my mind. This past Tuesday, Sam and I went to see Tegan and Sara at the Wiltern in LA. We didn't make as much a day of it as we did when we saw Rachael/Ray, but it was still a wonderful time complete with the same nice things as last time. Including smoking together, drinking Starbucks, listening to pop music [madonna, in this case], talk about the ones who make our hearts skip beats, and exciting stops at the Pleasure Chest. After about an hour of standing alone on the floor people watching, the lights finally dimmed and... some dumb comedian came out. Okay, he wasn't that bad I guess. So after him, came the first band. An interesting group of men called Gogol Bordello. Their appearance is a touch off-putting because you have no idea what to expect from a gang of characters such as themselves. Until they start playing and proceed to blow your fucking mind. Their set was at least an hour long and so high energy that it exhausted me. And plus, the lead singer was so cute that I wanted to carry him in my pocket.

Finally, the girls took the stage - Sara's hair is getting long and Tegan has a sexy new cut. Honestly, the set was a touch lackluster and I think that can be blamed on stuffy Cake fans who've made rude comments prior. It was all worthwhile though when Tegan sang When I Get Up. When she did, all I really wanted in the world was to have my Girl there to wrap in my arms and kiss her neck, because it made me miss her down to my fingertips. Unfortunately it wasn't as amazing I was anticipating it would be. Their set was short, there was very little of their banter and there were three young, skinny bitches behind me who couldn't sing along correctly. After T&S, Sam and I decided we didn't need to stick around for Cake, so we lingered around the lobby to wait and see if the girls would make an appearence. They didn't show after about twenty minutes, so we headed home. So maybe it wasn't everything I thought it was going to be. But it was still Tegan and it was still Sara - with their guitars and Canadian accents and their perfect songs. And they know just what to say.

Some other greatness comes in that my parents are coming to visit next weekend. I'm pretty excited being that I haven't seen my mom since the end of June. I think it's safe to say that seven months is more than enough time without seeing her. Bakersfield really isn't all that interesting, so I'm not sure exactly what we're going to do, but we'll come up with something I'm sure. Either that or I'll just hug my mom for like, eighteen hours.

However, on the flipside [and there is always a flipside], I guess things can't ALL be good. The not good of living right now is that my car is broken down. Long story short: It died at the bank last week - clear on the other side of town. We thought it was the battery, turns out it wasn't, I got it towed home where a creepy guy looked at it and then never called me back. It's something to do with the fuel something or other. Now the next battle is getting it somewhere to get it fixed.

But as I learned in a movie recently, "If it wasn't this, it'd be something else."

Truth be told, I'd be hard pressed to be happier or more satisfied with my life right now.
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